Quartcimcar is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, temperamental cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Quartcimcar created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartcimcar, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quartcimcar, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Quartcimcar's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Quartcimcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Swans are not to be trusted.

5. Never hurt gulls.