Tafbop Catshavbellsab is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, uncaring swallow.

Tafbop Catshavbellsab created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Tafbop Catshavbellsab, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tafbop Catshavbellsab, it will turn you into a puffin.

Tafbop Catshavbellsab's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Tafbop Catshavbellsab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about strawberries.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Tafbop Catshavbellsab in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.