Tabkam is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, impressive manatee.

Tabkam created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabkam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tabkam, she will destroy your favourite star.

Tabkam's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Tabkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near nematodes while wearing fawn dresses and balancing eight gold spheres on your head.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never think ill of sick foxes.

4. Never wear magenta rings.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.