Fonmidnabzed is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, confident gerbil.

Fonmidnabzed created parasitic wasps three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonmidnabzed, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fonmidnabzed, it will cry a lot.

Fonmidnabzed's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Fonmidnabzed's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Fonmidnabzed in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Fonmidnabzed must be the most important thing in your life.