Tompitsughit is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fussy weasel.

Tompitsughit created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tompitsughit, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tompitsughit, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tompitsughit's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Tompitsughit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not speak about cherries.