Nilltonktonk is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, witty coyote.

Nilltonktonk created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilltonktonk, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nilltonktonk, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Nilltonktonk's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Nilltonktonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never hurt cats.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. Never bounce in the presence of capybaras.