Pitvigpopcam is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, caring salamander.

Pitvigpopcam created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Pitvigpopcam, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pitvigpopcam, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Pitvigpopcam's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Pitvigpopcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

5. Always wear brown.