Yarlfadpid Funyartjad Bessbomsak is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, ill-tempered swan.

Yarlfadpid Funyartjad Bessbomsak created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlfadpid Funyartjad Bessbomsak, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yarlfadpid Funyartjad Bessbomsak, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Yarlfadpid Funyartjad Bessbomsak's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Yarlfadpid Funyartjad Bessbomsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention turtles.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never write about chromosomes.