Hotbigrip is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, confident troll.

Hotbigrip created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotbigrip, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hotbigrip, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Hotbigrip's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hotbigrip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never laugh near dogs.

5. Never eat rice.