Ditnuttflan is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, irritating swan.

Ditnuttflan created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Ditnuttflan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ditnuttflan, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ditnuttflan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Ditnuttflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Ditnuttflan's name in vain.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

5. Fast once a month.