Ranbissdag is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, overgenerous pig.

Ranbissdag created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ranbissdag, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ranbissdag, he will turn you into a rock.

Ranbissdag's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Ranbissdag's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Always help hamsters in need.

3. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Ranbissdag in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not hurt squirrels.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.