Dutlegmum is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, bad-tempered dragon.

Dutlegmum created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutlegmum, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dutlegmum, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dutlegmum's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Dutlegmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three great tits in a large pit.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not take Dutlegmum's name in vain.

4. Never think about special relativity near pigs while wearing indigo coats and balancing four copper spheres on your neck.

5. Never talk about doves.