Gutomtcem is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unthoughtful hummingbird.

Gutomtcem created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutomtcem, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gutomtcem, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gutomtcem's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Gutomtcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Gutomtcem must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never hop in the presence of moths.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Gutomtcem in the centre of the settlement.