Dotgilapp is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, blissful cow.

Dotgilapp created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dotgilapp, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dotgilapp, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dotgilapp's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Dotgilapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear boots.

2. Put Dotgilapp first in all things.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Dotgilapp.

5. You must love Dotgilapp.