Pidcutwot is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciless aardvark.

Pidcutwot created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Pidcutwot, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pidcutwot, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Pidcutwot's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Pidcutwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Put Pidcutwot first in all things.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near moths while wearing black trousers and balancing five copper spheres on your legs.