Jan Bonbedsadxen is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, compassionate spider.

Jan Bonbedsadxen created the Sombrero Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jan Bonbedsadxen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jan Bonbedsadxen, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Jan Bonbedsadxen's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Jan Bonbedsadxen's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Do not make images of living things.