Quartrakcip is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, egotistical lizard.

Quartrakcip created the Sunflower Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quartrakcip, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quartrakcip, she will cry a lot.

Quartrakcip's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Quartrakcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near bats while wearing violet corsets and balancing nine silicon spheres on your feet.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always treat voles with great respect.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never go into brown rooms.