Madfetgem is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, benevolent cow.

Madfetgem created the Milkyway three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Madfetgem, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Madfetgem, it will turn you into a worm.

Madfetgem's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Madfetgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about spacetime near foxes while wearing brown scarves and balancing six silicon spheres on your back.

3. Never talk about badgers.

4. Hide from blue hamsters for they are unholy.

5. Always help dolphins.