Yartdumsawsad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, tiresome owl.

Yartdumsawsad created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartdumsawsad, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yartdumsawsad, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Yartdumsawsad's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Yartdumsawsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms mauve.

2. Yartdumsawsad loves voles, so they must be respected.

3. Never think about optics near mites while wearing magenta boots and balancing seven iron spheres on your head.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.