Popkamvog is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, awesome ferret.

Popkamvog created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Popkamvog, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Popkamvog, he will turn you into a mouse.

Popkamvog's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Popkamvog's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Never feed oranges to monkeys while wearing scarves.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.