Pad is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, overgenerous turtle.

Pad created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pad, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pad, he will be very unhappy.

Pad's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Pad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Never think about dark matter near voles while wearing violet hats and balancing seven gold spheres on your neck.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Feed all hungry gulls.