Bifnansom Tafnildad is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, temperamental walrus.

Bifnansom Tafnildad created the Large Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Bifnansom Tafnildad, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bifnansom Tafnildad, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bifnansom Tafnildad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bifnansom Tafnildad's Holy Commandments

1. Bifnansom Tafnildad loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

2. Do not kill tapirs.

3. Run away from orange mice, for they are unholy.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

5. Never talk about special relativity near eagles while wearing black hats.