Larpbemstig is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, compassionate fox.

Larpbemstig created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Larpbemstig, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Larpbemstig, it will manifest in front of you.

Larpbemstig's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Larpbemstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Larpbemstig must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory.

4. Never wear gray boots.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.