Cargumzodbaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, able raven.

Cargumzodbaf created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cargumzodbaf, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cargumzodbaf, she will turn you into a slug.

Cargumzodbaf's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Cargumzodbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never look in ponds.