Nellbitxen Hansascit is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, idiotic crab.

Nellbitxen Hansascit created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Nellbitxen Hansascit, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nellbitxen Hansascit, it will throw large rocks at you.

Nellbitxen Hansascit's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Nellbitxen Hansascit's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always wear gray.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.