Ladmitbest is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, self-confident frog.

Ladmitbest created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladmitbest, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ladmitbest, she will not invite you to parties.

Ladmitbest's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Ladmitbest's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Never eat green fruit.