Larnhatdag is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, witty octopus.

Larnhatdag created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Larnhatdag, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Larnhatdag, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Larnhatdag's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Larnhatdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs white.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. You must love Larnhatdag.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.