Satquimdiss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, resourceful fairy.

Satquimdiss created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satquimdiss, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Satquimdiss, it will turn you into a mole.

Satquimdiss' most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Satquimdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Satquimdiss loves frogs, so they must be respected.

2. Never feed carrots to gulls while wearing shirts.

3. Never talk about chlorophyll.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near mice while wearing cyan shorts and balancing eight iron spheres on your head.

5. Do not cook food in pots.