Lamgumbog Safhatflab is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, blissful bat.

Lamgumbog Safhatflab created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamgumbog Safhatflab, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lamgumbog Safhatflab, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Lamgumbog Safhatflab's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Lamgumbog Safhatflab's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to nematodes while wearing pink coats.

3. Feed all hungry snakes.

4. Always look after injured hamsters.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.