Gedtamkar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthinking mongoose.

Gedtamkar created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gedtamkar, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gedtamkar, he will not care.

Gedtamkar's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gedtamkar's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. You must never eat cucumbers.

5. Respect your elders.