Bosslopvinstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, caring human.

Bosslopvinstaf created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bosslopvinstaf, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bosslopvinstaf, he will turn you into a tree.

Bosslopvinstaf's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Bosslopvinstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Erect seven iron sculptures of Bosslopvinstaf on top of important buildings.

3. Never wear yellow scarves.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near sheep while wearing brown dresses and balancing six silicon spheres on your feet.

5. Never talk about tortoises.