Jopontnad is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, two-faced wasp.

Jopontnad created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopontnad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jopontnad, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jopontnad's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Jopontnad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

3. Run away if three otters approach from the south.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about fire.