Gamparktik is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sapient ferret.

Gamparktik created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gamparktik, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gamparktik, she will torture you forever.

Gamparktik's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Gamparktik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never feed lots of pineapples to capybaras while wearing purple stockings.