Flaparmril is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, uncaring pigeon.

Flaparmril created time and space four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flaparmril, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flaparmril, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flaparmril's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Flaparmril's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Flaparmril seven times a day.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Run away from brown birds, for they are unholy.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never wear corsets.