Fotyogpak is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, smart deer.

Fotyogpak created an atom three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotyogpak, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fotyogpak, she will turn you into a puffin.

Fotyogpak's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fotyogpak's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. You must never eat lentils.

3. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.