Tipmidfeb Yattarpgig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-knowing deer.

Tipmidfeb Yattarpgig created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Tipmidfeb Yattarpgig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tipmidfeb Yattarpgig, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tipmidfeb Yattarpgig's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tipmidfeb Yattarpgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near rats while wearing purple shoes and balancing seven carbon spheres on your arms.

2. Never hurt doves.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tipmidfeb Yattarpgig.

4. Tipmidfeb Yattarpgig loves ants, so they must be honoured.

5. Hide from black squirrels for they are unholy.