Pagcumfut is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, generous otter.

Pagcumfut created a Higgs boson twelve years ago.

If you believe in Pagcumfut, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Pagcumfut, it will boil you in a big pot.

Pagcumfut's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Pagcumfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.