Ontyogmif is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awe-inspiring dragon.

Ontyogmif created parasitic wasps eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontyogmif, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ontyogmif, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Ontyogmif's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Ontyogmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest indigo.

2. Ontyogmif must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about fire.