Gabyarpwod is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, loving fairy.

Gabyarpwod created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabyarpwod, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gabyarpwod, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gabyarpwod's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Gabyarpwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near bats while wearing yellow scarves and balancing nine zinc spheres on your neck.

2. Retreat if seven geese approach from the south.

3. Do not take Gabyarpwod's name in vain.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not chop down trees.