Dapfendan is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, omniscient slug.

Dapfendan created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapfendan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dapfendan, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dapfendan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Dapfendan's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Dapfendan.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Always obey Dapfendan's priests.

5. Do not covet oxen.