Barnmapgum is a god.
She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, grumpy
bear.
Barnmapgum created the Andromeda Galaxy three million years ago.
If you believe in
Barnmapgum, she will make you lucky.
If you do not believe in
Barnmapgum, she will throw large rocks at you.
Barnmapgum's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.
Barnmapgum's Holy Commandments1. Do not hurt sheep.
2. Barnmapgum loves whales, so they must be honoured.
3. Run away from mauve badgers, for they are unholy.
4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.
5. Never talk about dogs.