Stiktenjig Gadnullenzen is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate grasshopper.

Stiktenjig Gadnullenzen created life seven million years ago.

If you believe in Stiktenjig Gadnullenzen, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Stiktenjig Gadnullenzen, she will turn you into a rat.

Stiktenjig Gadnullenzen's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Stiktenjig Gadnullenzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Put Stiktenjig Gadnullenzen first in all things.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not dye your hair black.