Carflabyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, kind hare.

Carflabyarp created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Carflabyarp, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Carflabyarp, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Carflabyarp's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Carflabyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

2. Hide if four great tits approach from the south.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never write about black holes.