Banflatkop is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, fast ferret.

Banflatkop created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Banflatkop, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Banflatkop, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Banflatkop's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Banflatkop's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Banflatkop's priests.

2. Worship no other gods but Banflatkop.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Always help shrews.

5. Always stare at clouds.