Janpidlin is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, boastful lizard.

Janpidlin created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Janpidlin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Janpidlin, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Janpidlin's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Janpidlin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always obey Janpidlin's priests.

3. Never hurt dogs.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Never wear shorts.