Bifvogkap is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, fast donkey.

Bifvogkap created a top quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Bifvogkap, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bifvogkap, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Bifvogkap's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Bifvogkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chlorophyll.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Bifvogkap in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think about spacetime.

5. Never eat bark.