Lagfit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, slow swallow.

Lagfit created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagfit, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lagfit, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Lagfit's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Lagfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never write about eukaryotes.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Lagfit.

5. Never think ill of sick sharks.