Sawbarnbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, thoughtless yak.

Sawbarnbonk created the planet Saturn eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawbarnbonk, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sawbarnbonk, he will try to impress you with trees.

Sawbarnbonk's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Sawbarnbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven hamsters approach from the north.

2. Never write about ultrasonics.

3. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never wear green stockings.

5. Never mention ducks.