Dadcatmad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-knowing swallow.

Dadcatmad created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Dadcatmad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dadcatmad, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dadcatmad's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dadcatmad's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Dadcatmad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Snails are not to be trusted.

5. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.