Ortxemquat Titgenlid Tabpiggungan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, irritating cow.

Ortxemquat Titgenlid Tabpiggungan created the Black Eye Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortxemquat Titgenlid Tabpiggungan, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ortxemquat Titgenlid Tabpiggungan, she will jump up and down on your head.

Ortxemquat Titgenlid Tabpiggungan's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Ortxemquat Titgenlid Tabpiggungan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not take Ortxemquat Titgenlid Tabpiggungan's name in vain.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.